Waldorf Talking Dirty
by Melanyholland
Summary: Blair really couldn't understand why Chuck persisted in staying with her or why his company didn't annoy her so much.


**Title:** Waldorf Talking Dirty

**Author:** Melanyholland

**Summary:** Blair really couldn't understand why Chuck persisted in staying with her or why his company didn't annoy her so much.

**Rating:** T

**Timeline:** after the episode 1x04 (Bad News Blair)

**Main Characters:** Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass

**Feedback:** really appreciated, thanks.^^

**Notes:** I wrote this story in Italian and then I translated it into English for this site. I'm sorry if there are some mistakes and, as usual, feel free to point them out to me.

**Waldorf**** Talking Dirty **

Usually Blair hated Monday, but in that particular week she welcomed the new beginning with a sigh of relief. The week-end had been a nightmare she looked forward to forgetting. Her career as a model had ended before it had started and, like it wasn't enough, her mother had made it clear that she considered Blair less beautiful than Serena and that in the priority list, her daughter came after her precious clothing line. It was flattering, really.

Luckily there was the _Constance_, Blair's realm. Seeing the girls all dressed up like her and being able to torture them a little was a true remedy for Blair's emotional wounds. She smirked wickedly, remembering how Little J had lowered her eyes when she had made a comment about her shoes. Jenny's cheeks had been practically burning with shame. It had been fun and so simple. The only thing Blair had had to do had been asking her sweetly about the fashion designer –I can't recognise them. Did you buy them at Bendel's?-. In the end Little J had been forced to admit in a painful murmur what had been clear to anyone from the beginning: her shoes had been bought in a department store and they were probably second-hand. The thought of wearing a pair of shoes that someone else had previously put on their feet made Blair shiver and she felt sorry for Jenny. Well, _almost_.

So the day had started wonderfully and it would have been perfect if Chuck Bass hadn't unexpectedly appeared at her side while she was waiting for Serena in front of the school gates after the lessons.

"Are you waiting for me?" he asked, in that smooth and caressing tone he thought was irresistible. In Blair's opinion, it was slimy and irritating. She really couldn't understand the reaction Chuck aroused in women. It seemed that they had no clue on what kind of dirty pig he was. But thinking about it, his conquests weren't usually the smartest girls one can find.

"So you survived the Lost Week-End," she commented, neutrally and then she sighed. "Poor me. My dream hasn't realized."

"I like it when you pretend you don't love me, Waldorf." he smirked, winking.

Blair rolled her eyes, cursing her best friend for being always late and her boyfriend for hanging around with such a dubious and useless person. Thinking about Nate reminded her of the conversation they had shared before he went to his lacrosse practice and she smiled back at Chuck.

"You know, I think your altruism's admirable." she complimented him sweetly. As expected, Chuck's smirk became wary and within her, Blair gloated. It wasn't simple to put on tenterhooks the Heartless Bastard. The fabulous Serena had no hope to succeed in that.

"Well, you know I can't resist a woman's begging. Satisfying all of them is hard, but nobody's as good as me." he said dissolutely, moving closer until he was only a few inches from her. Blair was irritated by his insolent proximity –she could smell his breath and the scent of _joint_, for God's sake- but she didn't step back, because it would be a small victory for him. So, she simply looked at Chuck, even though she felt a little light-headed with him so close to her. "And speaking of which," continued Chuck, in a teasing whisper, "Perhaps you want me to take care of _your_ needs as well?"

"If that ever happens, Bass, all I will _need_ is a STD's testing," she retorted, harshly. "But obviously it will never happen." she added quickly, when she saw him open his mouth with a devilish spark in his eyes. Chuck shook his head slowly.

"Why do you force yourself to such a self-damaging behaviour, Waldorf?".

Blair frowned and wondered about _his_ behaviour. The obscene comments and dirty flirtations were his usual manners, but now he was definitely exaggerating. When she finally understood, she felt a bit silly for falling into his trap even for a few minutes. Clearly Chuck had sensed the upcoming attack and he was trying to distract her.

"By the way, Nate told me about what you had done," she changed the topic, with the subtle confidence learned in years of practice during the cocktail parties. "I knew that during the Lost Week-End you two do all sorts of things and that you care about Nate, but losing a _ball _for him, Chuck?". She smiled adorably at him and Chuck looked away, but he seemed more amused than annoyed. Obviously he had to disappoint her, Blair thought, irritated.

"I'm surprised that you're so interested in my balls, Waldorf." he said nastily, looking at her with a very lascivious expression. For a moment, Blair wondered if she had made a mistake entering that particular field. Clearly Chuck could handle vulgarities better than her. Unfortunately, she proved to be right when he added: "Anyway, if you want to check them yourself…".

Blair stared at him in horror while his hands were fumbling with the belt of his trousers and she stepped back instinctively. "Stop it, Chuck! Someone could see us!" she scolded him, her head full of revolting images of Chuck without his pants and dreadful echoes of "Spotted" that would destroy her reputation forever. She realized she had made a mistake when it was too late.

"What worries you is that someone could see us, Blair? Is that all?" he asked, amused and perverse. "We can finish this in my limo, then. Come with me."

"I told you to stop." she repeated, regaining her control and slapping his hand that was trying to grab her wrist. Chuck smirked, but he didn't insist. Instead, he moved to give her more space.

They stand side by side, while the last groups of students were leaving. Sometimes Blair glanced at his face and he was always undressing the most attractive girls with his eyes. When she saw him winking smugly at one of her classmates, Blair rolled her eyes and wondered why he didn't leave. They had played and he had won. Usually, the only good thing about this kind of situation was that, afterwards, she got rid of him for awhile. She really couldn't understand why Chuck persisted in staying with her, especially considering that the girl he had eyed was smiling at him with delight, making it blatantly clear that she was more than willing to be used by him. Chuck never refused this kind of invitation.

She hoped that Serena would arrive soon, her delay at this point was almost unforgivable. When her mobile phone rang, interrupting the silence, Blair gasped surprised and took it out from her handbag with worry. Again she was afraid that someone had taken a picture of her and Chuck while he was doing his dirty actions and she looked at the display praying it was not Gossip Girl. Fortunately, it wasn't. The text was from Serena, but the news weren't good:

_I'm sorry, B_. _Eric's doctor wants 2 c all the family this afternoon. I can't walk home with u. C u tonight. Love u. Xo S. _

Blair snorted but wrote to her that it was okay. She still had before her eyes the image of Eric's scar on the wrist and it bothered her. Among all her acquaintances, Serena's little brother was the only one she could never harm deliberately. She found incredible and almost touching how much innocence he managed to keep even though he lived in their world.

"Serena isn't coming, is she?" Chuck asked, wickedly glad and Blair cursed him for being so smart. In her ideal world, such a pig would have thought with one head only, and surely not the one on his shoulders. "She has dumped you for the Brooklyn tramp. Offensive."

"She hasn't _dumped_ me, and definitely not for Humphrey." she retorted, coldly. "And now, if you'll excuse me, I have better things to do rather than watch you seducing sluts with no brain and self-esteem."

"But it's exactly what you have done until now." he retorted, a satisfied grin on his face.

"Only because it would be hard not to notice such a disgraceful show." Blair said with a disdainful voice and turned on her heels to leave. She didn't want him to annoy her further, she had had enough of Chuck Bass for that day. Blair was losing her good mood and she suddenly remembered how gorgeous Serena had been before the cameras, the floral dress wrapping her perfect body like it had been sewed for her. And maybe it had. Surely Eleonor didn't think of a girl like her daughter when she conceived her clothing line. Her stomach twisted painfully and Blair felt the taste of the fruit salad she had eaten at lunch in her throat, warm and nauseating.

"Wait."

His tone was commanding. If she had had time to think, she would have quickened her pace for that, but she was lost in her unflattering thoughts and she reacted instinctively.

"What do you want?" she said annoyed, turning her head to glance at him over her shoulder.

"I'll give you a lift."

"Why?".

She was looking at him with distrust and he seemed content rather than irritated.

"Because I like to have a beautiful girl in my limo." he answered smoothly, his eyes full of appreciation. Blair didn't stop looking at him coldly, but his look and his admiring comment had pleased her, even though he was _Chuck_.

"You like having a girl. That's all." she reminded him, disdainfully.

"Is that a proposal, Blair?" he smirked, lasciviously. "It'd be the second allusion of the day. You want me so badly?"

Blair snorted.

"Yes, I want you, Bass. Neutered and exiled in hell."

"And I wonder why they call her Ice Queen." Chuck sighed to himself, ironic. She glared at him, but he simply smiled, reaching her.

"C'mon, Waldorf. Surely you don't want to ruin that Jimmy Choos by walking".

That was a good point and later, Blair found herself sitting on the leather seat of Chuck's limo. After all, she thought, Chuck wasn't _completely_ useless.

"Seriously you have lost that Babe Ruth's thing?" she asked him after a few kilometres. Thinking that Chuck had given up that ball was strange. She remembered how much proud the eleven-year-old Chuck had been when he had showed it to all their friends. Everybody had been fascinated and Blair had commented with Serena that boys could be so silly when they become all excited about _a stupid and old ball_. Chuck had heard her and for revenge, he had told everyone that she always cry when she watched _Breakfast at Tiffany's_. The boys had laughed at her back for days, she remembered now with a glimpse of the old grudge.

"It's your boyfriend's fault." Chuck said, neutral.

"Or yours?" she wondered, holding back a smile when he glared at her, finally annoyed. "You know Nate's naïve and you keep taking him in that dens of depravity and vice that you and your friends love."

"Carter Baizen's not my friend." he remarked, like it really mattered for him. "And dear Nathaniel went there on his own. I suppose he needed a distraction, considering the short leash his suffocating girlfriend had put on him after a certain attractive blonde has come back to New York."

"You're repugnant".

Whatever drop of sympathy she might have felt for what Chuck had done for Nate evaporated at his cruel words. The way he always succeeded in hitting where it hurt most was incredible. It was like he was able to see through her strong-and-self-confident-girl façade, like he could see all the fears which tormented her every day. The thought made her feel very vulnerable and she put it aside. Probably, he was only lucky as the devil. After all, he should have watched her attentively and for long to know her so well, and Blair was very aware of the fact that, even when Chuck was around her, he was distracted by other things – namely, girls-. She had seen it with her own eyes a few moments before.

Blair turned her head to the window, resolved to ignore him for the rest of the ride. But Chuck wasn't likely to allow her such a luxury.

"And how was _your_ week-end, Queen B.?" he asked, and the mild tone he used worried her. Blair wondered if he knew something about her modelling debacle –he always knew _everything_, damn him- and immediately afterwards she wandered if she was becoming paranoid.

"Wonderfully." she answered, again with that nonchalance she had worked on.

"Really?"

"Of course. My mother's new clothing line has been bought by Bendel's".

Blair realized she was overdoing the cocktail-chatter and she forced herself to shut up. Saying this silly things to him was the best way to make him suspicious. She kept staring outside the window, feeling a bit angry with the traffic.

"C'mon, Waldorf," he complained and he seemed a spoiled brat rather than an evil genius. "Don't you have anything more interesting to tell me? Something about a revenge, a scheme... or the destruction of an innocent girl, perhaps?".

Blair smirked, relieved and slightly amused. So _that_ was why he asked.

She often told him about her schemes, Chuck was glad to hear them so they could enjoy together her predictable victories. The few times she had told Nate, he had made comments which were almost blaming. Being happy for the misfortunes of an enemy was really hard, when Nate stared at her with those angelic blue eyes of his full of reproach.

She turned to Chuck, who was looking at her with a devilish spark in his hazel eyes.

"Well," she began sweetly, crossing her legs. "I _might_ have stolen all the clothes, ruining the photo session."

The smirk on his face was amused and full of admiration. Blair gloated, feeling proud of herself.

"Not bad, Waldorf." he praised her, caressing her figure with his eyes, from her legs wrapped in red silk to her neck adorned by the _Tiffany_'s necklace, until they reached her face. There were moments like this when Chuck looked at her like she was the most beautiful and brilliant girl he had ever seen. Blair knew it was a calculated look -like her attitude during the high society parties- and that probably he used it with all the women he met to flatter and seduce them, but she couldn't help feeling more at ease with her appearance. She raised her chin proudly, shaking a little her brown curls.

"I know, Bass."

"I bet Eleonor had a meltdown."

"For sure." she confirmed, merciless. "It's a pity that I couldn't see it."

Of course her mother had lost her mind when she had discovered that her precious clothes had disappeared, but she hadn't blamed her daughter. In Blair's opinion, it was because she hadn't notice_ her_ disappearance.

"But you should've called me. All those models without anything to put on… I would have known what to do with them." Chuck sighed, dissolutely.

Blair turned up her nose, then she had the pleasure to throw his own annoying rules in his face:

"I can't call you or Nate during the Lost Weeek-End, remember?"

"There's always an exception to the rule," he retorted, shrugging. "And a group of unsatisfied models is an emergency".

Blair looked away and snorted with emphasis, but actually he wasn't annoying her _that_ much. He was definitely distracting her from the negative parts of that day.

The limo stopped and Blair realized they were in front of her building. She grabbed the handle of the door, but suddenly she remembered something.

"Are you going to Isabel's party tonight?"

"Will you miss me if I'm not?" he smirked.

"No, I'll miss your limo." she said, impertinent. "Are you picking me up?".

Chuck leaned towards her, invading again her personal space.

"Don't you think you're _using _me a bit too much, Blair?" he whispered seductively, breathing against her mouth.

"You don't seem to mind." she retorted, mischievously.

"Oh, I don't mind." he confirmed, taking her hand and kissing her fingers. His lips lingered on her skin and Blair held her breath, releasing it only when he raised his mouth to murmur: "It's a pleasure to serve my Queen".

Blair nibbled at her lower lip, uncertain about what she was feeling in front of this clear display of charm. She knew she was supposed to be annoyed, because it was one of Chuck's usual tricks, but for a moment, when he had kissed her skin, she had shivered –and why he was still holding her hand and caressing it with his fingers?-. She quickly reminded herself that the wolf could disguise himself quite well and the silly Little J was the only one naïve enough to fall into his trap. Blair, who was much more smarter, glanced at him with a haughty and cold expression. He answered back with an irreverent sneer.

"And now, if you want to thank me…" he whispered nastily, every pretence of generosity disappeared while his hand started sliding along her arm in a languid and definitely too bold caress. Blair grabbed it when it brushed the side of her breast and she made sure that all her nails sank into his flesh when she abruptly moved it away from her body. Chuck groaned in pain and protest and she grinned.

"See you tonight, Chuck." she said to him sweetly, like she hadn't just hurt him and he hadn't five little half-moon cuts on his hand. Chuck said something that sounded like "Bitch" but she didn't care and she got off the limo, closing the door behind her.

It was only when she entered her room and glanced at her reflection in the mirror that she realized that she was smiling sincerely.

**End**

**Author's Note: **

[1] "Women Talking Dirty" is a comedy movie.

[2] Thank you so much **Guardian Izz**, **TriGemini**, **ronan03** and **svenjen** for your reviews to "Butterflies and Hurricanes". I really appreciate your words. I agree with you about the show, I'm disappointed with the last episode of season three and the spoilers for season four. The OMFG politics basically sucks and to me, it's synonym of bad writing. By the way, thank you again for your comments about my story.


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